tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-294794766428738036.post6894395535190450014..comments2024-02-18T00:50:21.175-08:00Comments on Birth Unplugged: Armchair QuarterbacksBrittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00621569580858604541noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-294794766428738036.post-44219650446597972992011-09-22T07:32:26.368-07:002011-09-22T07:32:26.368-07:00*applause* I have nothing else to say.*applause* I have nothing else to say....sarah.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08133265016553737445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-294794766428738036.post-59364676964779776672011-09-21T11:06:16.433-07:002011-09-21T11:06:16.433-07:00absolutely! I have strong birthy opinions too but...absolutely! I have strong birthy opinions too but I'm learning to keep them to myself and my own births. I recently had another member of my state's midwifery association viciously attack me on facebook for having 2 unassisted births. (good old 'anonymous' "if you think UC is so great you can go ahead and unfriend me because I am offended at your stupidity" type crap. she went on and on in that vein.) She had apparently heard about my births from another midwifery student I'd been swapping birth stories with. I didn't even know either woman when I had my babies, and I still don't know the one who made the nasty comments in person. It made me feel like my "friend" had been gossiping about my births behind my back, and that my midwifery career is being harmed because of choices I made years ago.. and I am happy with my births. The outcome was exactly what I wanted. So why do people think they have the right to tear apart my births when they weren't there? I shouldn't have to defend myself. Aren't many of us fighting to take control back from the maternity care system and allow women to birth as they choose? If we say that women should only make the birth decisions *we* agree with, we're no different from insurance regulations, hospital policies, and OB preferences that also dictate women's birthing.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02749281258625009588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-294794766428738036.post-17892336723086598472011-09-21T11:00:16.124-07:002011-09-21T11:00:16.124-07:00I think the reason we judge each other is because ...I think the reason we judge each other is because we're scared of having a c-section, a sick or dead baby, an episiotomy. So in order to make ourselves feel better we blame it on the mother, because that is how we kid ourselves into thinking we can control everything. We say to ourselves that these things happened to her because of something she did so we can feel safe, that as long as we don't do what she did we can avoid anything bad.<br /><br />Which of course is ridiculous, selfish, and hurtful.<br /><br />Thank you for bringing this up, I know when I was first learning about natural birth and scared about the dreaded episiotomy and c-section I armchair quarterbacked. :( I try not to do it anymore, but it's so hard to fight against those instincts of self protection.Curlshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06176883112936068271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-294794766428738036.post-41671780888668310992011-09-21T09:20:20.423-07:002011-09-21T09:20:20.423-07:00I didn't see these births, but I'm so glad...I didn't see these births, but I'm so glad you're raising this issue. We definitely all need to stop making assumptions about other people's experiences. Another great post, Brittany! Will be sharing.Lanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513306977618928729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-294794766428738036.post-62535617928142782752011-09-20T16:22:39.502-07:002011-09-20T16:22:39.502-07:00I agree with the above poster "keep it to you...I agree with the above poster "keep it to yourself". Telling the mother or commenting with other people isn't going to change the outcome, but it could help the mother feel inadequate. I remember when I had my second I was so proud that I did it without the epidural, and that I breathed the baby down instead of pushing, but a midwife "friend" of mine tore my birth apart and told me everything that went wrong and ignored all the positives. I'm pregnant with my third and decided on a home birth... but didn't even consider asking that midwife. <br /><br />-JuliTom and Julihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15930077783726649917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-294794766428738036.post-76520284330445836772011-09-20T16:16:23.996-07:002011-09-20T16:16:23.996-07:00ah, i so agree with you and i'm so glad you wr...ah, i so agree with you and i'm so glad you wrote this. the commentary happening during the farm birth was annoying the hell out of me. and i don't know why anyone has anything but something positive to say when a baby is born into the world, alive and healthy. even if someone thinks they know how a birth should have gone, or thinks they can pinpoint where something went "wrong" to lead into a cesarean, really, can't they just keep it to themselves? i can't believe how judgmental and nit-picky some women can be. i wanna slap 'em!Wittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14983734015223769512noreply@blogger.com