What makes Hypnobabies special

Hypnobabies has a lot to offer. I have decided to compile a list of unique advantages of the Hypnobabies program.

• Hypnobabies is comprehensive childbirth education. The founder of Hypnobabies comes from a childbirth education background and brought together her knowledge of childbirth with hypnosis in Hypnobabies. Hypnobabies includes information on the physiology of birth, nutrition and exercise, evidence-based pros and cons of interventions, making sure you have the right caregiver, and more! It is the only hypnosis for childbirth method that meets the requirements of DONA International for DONA doulas to observe for their certification.
• Hypnobabies not only teaches women how to relax, it also teaches them to enter a relaxed state at will, using a self-hypnosis technique called the "finger drop." This relaxation response is embedded in her subconscious through practice and post-hypnotic suggestion.
• The same relaxation response can also be activated by the mother's birth partner, doula, or maternity provider, with the "release" and "relax" cues, empowering them to help her better make use of her training.
• Hypnobabies helps women look forward to birth by releasing fear and learning to expect the birth to be an experience that can be enjoyed, undoing all of the negative ideas about birth they may have absorbed through the media and stories told by others.
• Hypnobabies teaches women that birth is a powerful and intense thing happening in their bodies, and helps them embrace that power instead of trying to run away from it.
  
• Hypnobabies teaches women how to have more comfortable childbirths, both by interpreting the sensations of birth as "pressure" or "tightening" AND by learning to increase and direct their bodies' endorphins with Hypno-anesthesia, using the "peace" cue.
  
• Hypnobabies encourages mobility during labor, which helps with positioning and descent (and may be a comfort measure if other techniques aren't working as the mother would like) and teaches a technique that allows them to use their relaxation and Hypno-anesthesia while upright or moving, called "eyes open childbirth hypnosis"
• Hypnobabies offers a large assortment of materials for women to practice with during pregnancy, allowing them to practice daily without getting tired of listening to the same few CD tracks over and over.
• Hypnobabies teaches about optimal fetal positioning and techniques to relieve back labor.
  
• Hypnobabies gives women a wide variety of tools to pick from to use during their births--moving while using eyes-open childbirth hypnosis, going "off" and relaxing completely, listening to their CDs, having a birth partner read mini-scripts, using cues (relax, release, and peace), vocalizing, visualizing their "special place," chanting mantras from the scripts ("open, open, open"), or counting down from 5-1 (which also activates automatic relaxation). Women have the freedom to use as many or as few of these tools that feel right to them at different points during their births, and may integrate them with their own unique strategies.
• Hypnobabies teaches instinctive mother-directed pushing (referred to as "gentle ahhh pushing") and encourages women to use upright pushing positions and listen for their bodies to tell them when and how to push.
• For those for whom the wonderful Hypnobabies live course is not an option, Hypnobabies offers a homestudy course, the content of which is based on their live course and significantly more in-depth than any other hypnosis for childbirth self-study option available.
  

For more information,

• Read Hypnobabies instructor and Hypno-doula Sheridan's post How is Hypnobabies different?, as well as her personal experience with taking HypnoBirthing with her second baby and Hypnobabies with her third.
  
• Check out this comparison from Laura, who has used and taught both HypnoBirthing and Hypnobabies.
  
• Stephanie, a homebirth midwife in Arizona, wrote about how impressed she was with Hypnobabies clients after some previous negative experiences with women who had done other hypnosis for childbirth preparation methods.
  
• The Hypnobabies website has a great list of unique advantages of Hypnobabies, with testimonials from five women who have used both Hypnobabies and other hypnosis methods.
• From the Hypnobabies blog: UNIQUE Benefits of Hypnobabies: "What makes Hypnobabies different from other Childbirth Hypnosis programs?"
  

Research-backed Benefits of Hypnosis for Childbirth

As explained in this article, a meta-analysis of selected studies on hypnosis for childbirth found that women who used hypnosis were:

• 51% less likely to use drugs for pain relief (38% of the hypnosis group used pain medications, compared to 74% in the control group)
• 70% less likely to have their labors augmented (11% in the hypnosis group were augmented, compared to 70% in the control group)
• 67% more likely to have a spontaneous vaginal delivery (meaning they were not induced and did not have cesareans)

The limits of this study

Despite it being a meta-analysis, the sample sizes are still quite small. As far as I can tell, the control group represents the standard population, which would include women who do not do any childbirth preparation and/or who planned to have epidurals. It would be interesting to see research comparing women using hypnosis with other methods of natural childbirth preparation, since that would provide a clearer picture of the unique benefits of hypnosis.

One reason why hypnosis is such an effective method of birth preparation: research shows women are more easily hypnotized during pregnancy.

Hypno-anesthesiology 101, with Dr. Seuss

Now the news has arrived
From the Valley of Vail
That a Chippendale Mupp has just bitten his tail,
Which he does every night before shutting his eyes
Such nipping sounds silly, but, really, it's wise.
He has no alarm clock. So this is the way
He make sure that he'll wake at the right time of day.
His tail is so long, he won't feel any pain
'Till the nip makes the trip and gets up to his brain.
In exactly eight hours, the Chippendale Mupp
Will, at last, feel the bite, and yell "Ouch!" and wake up.

This passage is from Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book, which I read to my two year old daughter to help her fall asleep. Although the Chippendale Mupp's eight hour lag in pain perception is an exaggeration, the passage illustrates an important fact about pain. Pain signals from the body have to travel along the nervous system to the brain before we actually recognize pain. Therefore, it could be said that pain happens in the brain. The following quote from the article Replacing Painkillers With Hypnosis explains how a pain test performed under hypnosis looks on an fMRI:

New imaging techniques have recently started to reveal what occurs under hypnosis, and why pain that would otherwise lead to severe discomfort becomes bearable. Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scans, Sebastian Schulz-Stubner and his team at Aachen University in Germany measured the brain activity of 12 healthy volunteers who received repeated heat stimulation to their skin. The researchers found that hypnosis interrupted the pain signals that normally travel from the nerve cells to the primary somatosensory cortex, where the sensation of pain is elicited. Instead, the signals fizzled out in the subcortical region, failing to produce the normal ouch effect.

The article also goes into detail describing a dental procedure using hypnosis for pain relief, using a "Special Place" like the one taught in Hypnobabies. One thing I love about the Hypnobabies method is that is uses medical hypnoanesthesia techniques, just like the ones this article is talking about.

What is Hypnoanesthesia?

Hypnoanesthesia is simply the body's own endorphins, which are released by the brain. Endorphins are said to be ten times stronger than morphine. We experience rushes of endorphins in response to pain, but also during exercise and after good sex. Hypnosis allows us to control the release of endorphins with our thoughts. One of my friends was telling me recently about Candace Pert's Molecules Of Emotion, which explains the scientific basis of how our thoughts have physical effects on our bodies. I haven't read it yet, but it's on my list.

But wait, if birth isn't inherently painful, why do I need anesthesia for it?

Birth is not inherently painful, though that may depend on your definition of pain. However, birth can become painful when other factors are introduced. Things like stress, fear, distraction, and not being able to follow to your instincts can create pain.

During natural labor, a woman will usually instinctively disconnect from her surroundings and her conscious thoughts and enter a state of deep focus. This state triggers her brain to bathe her body with endorphins and continues the flow of oxytocin. These hormones promote relaxation in the woman, which allows her body to birth her baby without her resistance.

The problem is that if a woman is unable to enter this state, or is distracted from it and can't get back to it, her birthing will become painful and she may fight her body. Knowing hypnoanesthesia techniques allows women to remove pain that is created by forces outside the birthing process. These forces can stop the flow of endorphins from her brain, resulting in pain caused by a level of endorphins lower than should naturally be present during birth. Hypnosis is a way to enter a state of deep relaxation and calmness quickly, which can get a woman back on track if she is thrown off. Hypnoanesthesia allows women to release endorphins on demand to get them back to the state they should be in during birthing. They are also able to get to this state faster when labor begins.

Distractions are a part of modern birth, even if it is just a quick check on the baby's heart rate. Women who use hypnosis have the advantage of being able to refocus quickly when distractions occur. It is natural for a woman to give birth in a place she feels safe, since giving birth makes her vulnerable to attack (several natural childbirth books discuss this concept, including Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Birthing from Within). In antiquity, women could give birth in privacy, like animals do. Hypnosis actually allows modern birth, regardless of setting or attendant, to be more natural and instinctive, because it allows women to go within and be in a safe place in their minds. So, whether it's on a train, in the rain, in a house, with a mouse, here or there, or anywhere, you can give birth in comfort and peace.

A Natural Third Stage?

The idea of active management of the third stage has never sat right with me. Even before I developed my interest in natural childbirth. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was taking one of the hospital classes I talk about that are not so great. The nurse who was teaching the class told us that after our babies were born, we would be getting pitocin in our IVs to help the placenta come out and help the uterus clamp down to put pressure on the placenta site to prevent too much bleeding. I asked if you can decline it and she acted like that would be a stupid thing to do, because why would you want to risk bleeding too much and before we had it a lot of women died from hemorrhage.

It just didn't seem right to me. I didn't like the idea of having a medication to prevent a complication that only might happen. This was part of my reasoning behind changing providers and hospitals. My CNMs told me that with an unmedicated birth, third stage pitocin is often unnecessary, so my birth plan said I didn't want it unless I started to hemorrhage. I ended up being induced with pitocin for that birth anyway, so it didn't matter.

When I moved to a new area while 3 months pregnant with my son, I called the hospital where I was planning on birthing for a recommendation for a provider who would be supportive of natural birth (they recommended Dr. I., who was awesome) and the nurse and I talked about the policies. She said that if I really didn't want an IV, they could do the postpartum pitocin as an IM injection instead and told me that in her 10 years as a nurse, she had never seen a woman not get pitocin after giving birth. When I met with Dr. I., I talked to her about this, and she brought up that breastfeeding really should work just as well as pitocin. She said she would support trying breastfeeding first.

So, then, I had an unmedicated birth, but they had to take my baby to the warmer to give him oxygen. Dr. I. waited until the placenta was out to see how much I bled, but it was too much, so I got both pitocin and methergine--I think it is possible that doing it later is why I needed both.

I wondered if perhaps I'm just a "bleeder" and will need pitocin for all of my births. I don't have a problem with it if it is actually necessary. Then Gloira Lemay shared with me an Australian article called Optimising psychophysiology in third stage of labour: theory applied to practice. I read the full article (link is to the abstract). I believe these authors are on to something, and I would love to see more research on this topic. You can read an interview with one of the article's authors at the Science and Sensibility blog.

The basic idea is that studies of "active management" and "expectant management" haven't really studied truly physiological third stages. The authors theorize that in order to produce the oxytocin surge necessary to help her uterus contract sufficiently to avoid hemorrhage, the mother needs to focus on her baby, holding him skin to skin, in a calm environment with little distraction. This is certainly different than how my 3rd stage was with my son, and I think it is likely pretty rare in a hospital setting.

In natural childbirth education, and especially with hypnosis, we try to help women produce the right natural chemicals in their bodies to promote smooth (and even comfortable) birthing in the first and second stages (though the second seems to be more difficult for some of us). There is scientific evidence that the mind and body are connected and our thoughts and feelings have direct effects in our bodies (the research of Dr. Candace Pert on neuropeptides is one example). We strive for a relaxed, comfortable state of mind to promote oxytocin and endorphins in the first two stages--it makes sense that the same sort of mental state would be necessary for a natural third stage. Third stage is still part of birth, and it's important for both women and their caregivers to recognize this.

The belief of the L&D nurses I have spoken with seems to be that an unmedicated third stage with a small amount of bleeding would be an exception. It seems to me that under the right conditions, a gentle, hands-off approach could make postpartum hemorrhage the exception rather than the rule. According to Gloria Lemay, it works.

In order to accomplish a natural third stage, separation of mother and baby must be avoided whenever possible. This is easy if you don't cut the cord right away. Check out Navelgazing Midwife's recent post on the gross practice of using shoestrings to clamp the cord in unplanned out-out-of-hospital births. And for more on keeping mother and baby together, check out the recently posted Healthy Birth Blog Carnival #6: MotherBaby Edition

be sure to check out my new follow up to this post: Physiological Third Stage, without the "as long as"

Spirituality of my Birth Experiences

Some blogs I read have mentioned the recent Lamaze press release, New Data Show Connection Between Childbirth and Spirituality. After my second birth, I was introduced to The Gift of Giving Life, a blog that explores the spirituality of childbirth in depth, and focuses primarily on women who are Latter-day Saints like me. I kind of thought that I didn't really have spiritual birth experiences because I didn't write about my births in a spiritual context when I wrote my birth stories, but with some more thought, I recognized that there were things about both that were very spiritually significant for me, and I'd like to write about them here.

I don't think I realized it at the time, but it is likely that the Lord led me on my quest of knowledge during my first pregnancy. The motto for BYU, the church-owned university I attended, is "The glory of God is intelligence" (from D&C 93:36). I believe that my desire to find greater knowledge and truth about birth was directed by the Spirit, since all light and truth come from God. Looking at it now, it's hard to see how the Lord could not be involved in such a drastic transformation.

My first birth itself had some very spiritual moments. I remember feeling kind of sad after the epidural was in because it wasn't what I planned, though I realize that, under the circumstances, it was really a blessing that I could get the epidural and get some rest. I listened to my iPod after I got the epidural, and chose at that time to listen to a collection of instrumental arrangements of hymns by Lex De Azevedo. I remember the soothing music giving me peace and helping me sleep despite my conflicted feelings about the situation. Because the birth took place on a Saturday at a small hospital, we got our pick of the rooms on the floor, and chose the one with a great view of the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. There are large windows in the maternity rooms, and the drapes were open when I gave birth at 9:52 pm and the temple was all lit up. I looked at the window while I held my daughter on my belly with the cord still attached, the delivery lights in the darkened room lit us up in the glass, and the temple glowed on the other side. I think it will be very special to tell my daughter that she was born under the glow of the temple.

Mt. Timpanogos Temple at night (source: wikipedea commons)

During my second pregnancy, I did some journaling, and in explaining why I wanted a natural birth, it came together to me that I feel that God designed the birth process with perfection, and that interference in the process causes trouble. I realized, while studying Hypnobabies, that the Lord has given us everything we need to create comfortable childbirth within our own minds and bodies. I found ways to tie the Hypnobabies philosophies in with my religious beliefs and even found some hymns that had the word "peace" (a cue used for comfort in Hypnobabies) in them. I thought it would be a nice option to have hymns to sing during my birthing time. I didn't end up doing that, but tying the hypnosis tools to a religious idea was good for me.

During my second birth, I did not think much about spiritual matters. I focused on listening to my Hypnobabies tracks and using my hypnosis techniques. For much of my first stage, I feel Hypnobabies helped the atmosphere be more reverent because it kept me calm. Second stage was very intense, but the sudden change from feeling overwhelmed by the intensity to the complete joy of having my baby in my hands and knowing I had done it was very similar to how some people describe spiritual events like conversion or repentance/forgiveness.

17 And it came to pass that as I was thus ^aracked with torment, while I was ^bharrowed up by the ^cmemory of my many sins, behold, I ^dremembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.

18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, ^ahave mercy on me, who am ^bin the ^cgall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting ^dchains of ^edeath.

19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my ^apains ^bno more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.

20 And oh, what ^ajoy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!

21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.
(Alma 36:17-20)

This passage from the Book of Mormon illustrates being "born again," which I think may be just as much like giving birth as it is like being born (the latter is something I'd like to explore more in a future post). I saw, in giving birth naturally, a metaphor for what it feels like when we allow Christ to take our burdens. Although I didn't recognize it at the time, this was something I learned a lot spiritually by experiencing.

I believe that all pregnancy and birth is spiritual. It involves working with God to bring a new soul into this life so that an individual can progress on the path to exaltation. It is the expanding of a family unit and, in the case of first births, it is the moment when people become parents. These are very spiritually significant things. I feel we can make birth more of a spiritual experience for us if we try, and I hope to do so even more with my future pregnancies and births.

Understanding "Painless" Childbirth

This post is inspired by a recent conversation on my natural childbirth forum, as well as a few birth stories I have read from Hypnobabies moms who were surprised to find that their pressure waves felt "painful" to them. It also is a response to something I stumbled upon while browsing the archives of a natural childbirth blog, in which the author said she would not want to have a painless birth.

So, what is up with "painless" childbirth?

A few women are rumored to have "painless" births without special preparation. I think this is probably pretty rare, but the fact that it happens is notable. The majority of women who refer to their births ans "painless" or "pain-free" are women who used hypnosis.

I think this is something that is commonly misunderstood, and I admit I didn't understand it when I was preparing for my first birth. I read the book Hypnobirthing by Marie Mongan, and listened to the CD that came with it a few times. As I understood it, Mongan was teaching that all "pain" in childbirth was a result of the fear/tension/pain cycle, meaning birth will not be painful if you are not afraid of it. I believed that what we experience in birth is a direct result of what we expect, so I chose not to expect pain. I was really oversimplifying things, and I was in for a rude awakening.

When I started having contractions (I refer to them as "contractions" here because that is what I called them at the time--I didn't buy into the idea of changing the words then) I admitted that "they hurt," but it was very manageable. They went on for quite a long time, going away and coming back, and then I was given a very low dose of pitocin, and those contractions really hurt. I was still able to cope using movement and deep breathing for a while, but I was really miserable. I do recognize that there was a psychological element to this pain. In my mind, something external (pitocin) was inflicting pain upon me, instead of it being caused by my own uterine muscles contracting. This, as well as exhaustion and pressure to dilate due to risk of infection, made it much harder for me to cope.

I think that I, as a first timer, espoused a common misconception about painless birth: believing that your birth will be painless just because you've heard of it and believe it's possible. I didn't think I needed to do anything to have a painless birth; I thought it would just happen because birth is not "meant" to be painful (right, Dr. Dick-Read?)

My understanding of this changed when I did the Hypnobabies program for my second birth. I don't know if there is really a difference in the two programs' views or if my experiences caused me to have this new understanding. I don't know if birth is really "meant" to be painful or not, but I do know that it involves a stimulus that the majority (at least in our culture) of women's brains interpret as "pain," which is generally experienced as a negative thing. Good hypnosis for childbirth provides a system for changing your mind so that the stimulus is interpreted as not painful, so that it can be experienced more positively. For me, with my second birth, experiencing it positively involved a conscious choice on my part.

Both Hypnobirthing and Hypnobabies use a technique of renaming some of the words commonly used in childbirth. This is a strange practice and, I admit, it's a little cumbersome at times, but many women find it helpful to avoid negative associations their subconscious may have with the words. One example is avoiding use of the word "pain" and using "discomfort" instead, because it is not as negative of a word. Some could argue that "painless childbirth" is about semantics, but it's really about what you choose to believe.

I believe that most women who have unmedicated births are able to find a way to experience the stimulus of the sensations of childbirth as not a bad thing, even if they do experience them as painful. In embracing a "pain with a purpose" ideology, women are choosing to tweak their understanding of the word "pain" (which is usually a negative word to describe a sensation that occurs when the body is being harmed) to include a kind of pain that is good. This essentially means changing the negative connotation of the word "pain" to be positive in this particular circumstance, while with hypnosis, we simply change the word, eliminating the negative connotation altogether.

I think some people, when they hear "painless," assume that means not feeling anything--that the "hypno-anesthesia" would be like an epidural and make them numb. It doesn't work this way. Hypno-anesthesia is very strong endorphins. It's like when you cut yourself or you twist your ankle and at first it hurts a lot, but then it doesn't hurt as much, that's endorphins. They soothe and dull pain, but they don't take away sensation. With a pain-free unmedicated birth with hypnosis, you would still feel your baby being born, it just wouldn't feel like pain to you.

Sometimes the talk of feeling "only pressure and tightening" in Hypnobabies leads women to expect that birthing waves will feel just like Braxton-Hicks waves. This is not true either. Braxtion-Hicks are just tightening sensations, for me, birthing waves (and also the pre-birth waves that can occur irregularly for weeks before the actual birth) have an extra level of intensity--what I now call a "downward pressure" which signaled to me that my uterus was now working to begin moving my baby down instead of just flexing itself for the exercise.

One of the changes in the new 6th edition of Hypnobabies is the re-recording and re-naming of a track that used to be called "Painless Childbirth" to "Easy, Comfortable Childbirth." Hypnobabies appears to be moving away from using the word "painless," which, considering all of the misconceptions about it, I think is a good move. I feel like "comfortable" is a more accurate description of how Hypnobabies helped me. Whatever sensations I felt (some of which I may have called "painful" under other circumstances), I knew they were normal and was able to not be afraid of them, which allowed me to feel calm and confident and not out-of-control or panicky (except during the cervical lip and the pushing, but I have theories about that). I wouldn't say I was "in pain," because for me, being "in pain" never involves that degree of serenity and self-composure.

I know there are some women for whom surviving the pain of childbirth provides a sense of accomplishment. It makes them feel like they are "hardcore." I, on the other hand, am not "hardcore," nor do I want to be. I can get a sense of accomplishment from seeing that I did something most people experience as very painful, and it was mostly comfortable to me, and I did it with my mind!

My Son's Birth

I did the homestudy program from Hypnobabies to prepare for this birth. I really enjoyed Hypnobabies during my pregnancy. It includes daily relaxation practice, which I often used to help me relax and fall asleep. It helped me bond with my baby and look forward to his birth. It also had tools for helping me get rid of my fears and helped me have more confidence in myself.

For those reading this who are unfamiliar with Hypnobabies, one of the concepts taught in it is that words have power. Many words commonly used in pregnancy and birth have negative associations in many people’s minds. Hypnobababies replaces these words with other words, in an effort to help you be more positive. I will be using these words during my story. Instead of “contraction,” I use “pressure waves.” I also avoid using the words “labor” and “delivery,” calling it “birthing” instead, and I try to avoid using the word “pain” when talking about birth.

For those reading who are studying Hypnobabies, you may or may not need to use your bubble of peace. I would label my birth “mostly comfortable.” Hypnobabies definitely worked for me, but there were times when I got off track and had discomfort, and I really struggled a lot during the pushing phase. Honestly, there were times during my birthing when if someone asked at the time if I was having “pain,” I probably would have said yes, but most of the time I was comfortable and felt very calm and relaxed.

On Friday, March 5, 2010, I woke up around 4:00 a.m. having pressure waves. I tried listening to my Hypnobabies tracks to see if I could fall back asleep, but after about an hour, I decided to get up because if the baby was going to come today, I was going to need to get a few last minute things together for my hospital bag. I found the charger for my digital camera battery, and I sat on my birth ball at the computer, printed out some extra copies of my birth preferences, and plugged in my ipod so it could charge. I got on the internet and did some stuff and tried to time the pressure waves with the “contraction master” website, but they seemed to weaken while I was on the ball and were sort of hard to time.

A couple hours later, my husband Tiatia got up to go to work, and then my 2 year old daughter got up. My pressure waves had pretty much stopped by this point. My daughter and I had breakfast. I think we ate some of the blueberry muffins we had made as a project the day before. I put on a few shows for her on the DVR and I did some cleaning. I loaded the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen, including mopping the floor. Then I felt tired, so I sat down and folded a load of laundry that I’d washed the day before. My daughter and I had some chicken noodle soup for lunch.

Around 1:00 p.m., after starting a load of laundry, I read my daughter some books and then I put a Hypnobabies track on out loud and I laid down with her and we both had a nap. I woke once during the nap to a pressure wave but went back to sleep and then had another one when I woke up around 2:30 and I think one or two more while I was lying down. My pre-birth waves mostly came at night or early in the morning, so having waves during the day was unusual for me. They were also strong enough that I was wondering if hypnosis was going to work. I used my lightswitch and peace cue and it really helped me feel more comfortable during them. I suspected that it would soon be time to meet my baby. I got up and put on my headphones and listened to Birthing Day affirmations while I did some more cleaning and preparing. I moved the load of laundry to the dryer, straightened up the living room, and got together My daughter’s clothes and things she would need for staying with friends while we were at the hospital.

My daughter woke up and I think she played with toys for a little while. I hadn’t had any cervical checks from my doctor, but I had tried to feel my cervix myself. It had felt soft and slightly open about a week before. I decided to check it again and it felt softer and more open now, if I had to guess, I’d say about 3 cm, and I could feel how The baby’s head was now against it. I had noticed that he felt lower on Thursday morning, and at my appointment that day, Dr. I. felt my belly and said that his head was engaged. A piece of brown-tinged mucus plug came out on my fingers when I checked myself. I started to finish packing my hospital bag, but all the stuff I needed would not fit in the bag I had already started to pack. I tried transferring it to another bag, but it wouldn’t all fit in that one either.

I realized the waves were coming pretty frequently, so I decided to time them. I got on the computer on the birth ball. Pressure waves were about every 6 minutes apart. I knew it was the real thing now. My phone rang during a pressure wave and I wasn’t able to answer it. I was Tiatia. He was probably calling to tell me he was getting off work and would be home soon. I called him back, but he didn’t answer. I sent him a text saying I thought we’d be going to the hospital tonight, but I don’t think he got it. The idea of getting in the bath sounded really good to me. I put on a DVD for My daughter (I normally try to limit her TV viewing, but I made an exception that day) and I filled the tub and put in a few drops of lavender oil, which I had been putting in my scent diffuser during my Hypnobabies practice to help with relaxation. I put my laptop in the bathroom so I could play my Hypnobabies tracks while I was in the tub. I put on “Painless Childbirth” (which I think is called “Comfortable Childbirth” in the 6^th edition) and lied down in the tub and relaxed.

I’d brought my phone in the bathroom and Tiatia called again. He could tell I sounded different and I told him I was having pressure waves that were pretty intense. He asked when I thought the baby was coming, and I told him either late that night or early the next morning. I told him I was in the tub. It turns out he had stopped at the Redbox on his way home and picked up a movie for us to watch that night. Yeah, that didn’t end up happening. He got home a few minutes later and came in the bathroom to check on me and I told him I was coping fine. He watched Our daughter for a while and I guess he fed her macaroni and cheese and he also got together a bag with clothes and toiletries for himself and packed phone chargers, the video camera, the laptop, and the digital camera with it’s now fully charged battery.

I listened to “Deepening” next, and continued to handle the pressure waves very well. I really wouldn’t describe what I was experiencing as painful, and I felt really in-control. Doing the deep slow breathing and using the “peace” cue while imagining anesthesia going to my lower belly (where I felt the majority of the sensation of the waves) really helped. I got into some different positions in the tub. I sat cross-legged and I also kneeled . After “Deepening” I listened to “Special Place” and I felt my baby move around during it, just like he did the first time I listened to it when I felt so connected to him that I got tears in my eyes.

Towards the end of the track, I lost my focus during a few waves and they started feeling really uncomfortable. I called out that I needed help and Tiatia came in. I told him it was really intense and I didn’t know if I could do it. I almost started crying. I was scared. He asked if I wanted to go to the hospital, and I said I did. He started making phone calls to get our daughter taken care of. I got out of the tub and got dressed. I divided the stuff I needed to take to the hospital between my two bags and put my lavender oil and my phone in one of them. Then I got my ipod and my headphones, and realizing that I needed something more than the regular tracks, I put on the Birth Guide. I regained my focus and was once again able to handle the waves. I sat on the birth ball in the living room and leaned forward on the arm of the couch. I told Tiatia I needed a drink, so he gave me a little bottle of apple juice and I took sips of it between waves.

A friend came to get our daughter who and really did not want to leave. I went over to her and gave her a hug and told her it would be okay, but she didn’t believe me. The friend asked if my water had broken and I told her it hadn’t yet, then a pressure wave started, while I was still kneeling on the kitchen floor, and I had to close my eyes and do my deep breathing. She asked, “How far apart are they?” and I couldn’t answer her, both because I was still having the wave and because I didn’t know, I hadn’t been timing them. Somehow Tiatia got into our friend’s car. He came back and asked me how I was doing and I said I was feeling more in-control now. I told him I wanted him to help me time the waves. We went in the bedroom and I turned on a lamp instead of the light so that it wouldn’t be too bright. I sat on the birth ball and put pillows on the bed and leaned forward on the pillows. Tiatia timed the waves with the stopwatch on his phone. I told him I also wanted him to use the “relax” cue on my shoulder. I once again lost focus during a few of the waves and made some noise, but the “relax” helped me relax and focus and I got back to feeling like the waves were only pressure and my anesthesia was working. We discovered that the waves were between 2 and 3 minutes apart and were all lasting over a minute. I was still able to talk calmly between the waves. We decided it was probably a good time to head to the hospital. I said we needed to call Dr. I. and told Tiatia where her number was. At first, he wanted me to call her, but I told him to do it. He called and told her we were going in and how close together the waves were. She said she’d meet us there.

Tiatia loaded everything into the car, and I made sure we got the extra pillows and the birth ball. I also brought my apple juice. I got in the back seat of our mini SUV and we took the headrest off the front seat put a pillow on top of it and leaned forward. I continued listening to the “Easy First Stage” track. I was actually quite comfortable during the 25 minute car ride, which was amazing because I remembered being very uncomfortable in the car last time. When we left the house it was around 9:00 pm.

We parked and Tiatia carried a bunch of our stuff in. We walked in and Tiatia told the receptionist at the ER admitting desk who we were. She called the maternity center and told us they’d be coming to get us. She asked if I wanted to walk or ride in the wheelchair, and I said I thought I’d be fine walking. She put a hospital bracelet on me, during a wave, of course. While we waited for them to come get us, I was standing there, drinking sips of juice between waves, and during them I’d lean on Tiatia and he’d say “relax” to me. It felt wonderful to feel so relaxed and in control. I remember telling Tiatia that they felt like they were coming right on top of each other now, since they were so close together and lasting so long, but I didn’t say it like I was afraid, it was just an observation. It seemed like it was taking a long time for them to come and we started to wonder what the hold up was. The receptionist called them again.

When they finally came for us, they asked again if I wanted the wheelchair and I decided to get it because I remembered from when we came to preregister that it was a pretty long way and the waves were so close together I’d have to stop a lot. Riding in the chair, I was able to keep doing what I had been doing. We got to the LDRP room (not a triage room like I went to first at the hospital where I had my daughter, which I was glad of), and they already had the lights dimmed for us and Dr. I. was there. Once the pressure wave I was having was over, I got out of the chair and our nurse, Dianne, gave me instructions on giving a urine sample and how to wear the hospital gown. I had another pressure wave and leaned forward on the cabinet that contained the fetal monitor machine. Then I said I brought my own nightgown to wear, and she said that said was fine. I told Tiatia which bag it was in, and he gave the bag to me. I took the cup and my bag and gave the sample and got changed.

Dr. I. had me get in the bed so they could put the monitors on me and she could check me. She said that if I needed to move during waves, I could. It turned out I was able to use my hypnosis to stay comfortable in the bed (with the head of it raised) during pressure waves, which is something I couldn’t do during the unmedicated part of my first birthing. Dr. I. checked me and, drum roll, please…I was 8 centimeters! I looked at Tiatia and said how happy I was to be so far along. He had a big smile on his face. Dr. I. showed me how big that was on the dilation chart. She asked Dianne to get a birth ball (we’d left mine in the car—one man can only carry so much) so I could sit on it, which sounded great to me. I sat on the ball and leaned forward on the bed.

Dr. I. asked what the results of my GBS culture had been and I said she’d never told me, so I’d assumed negative. Someone came to take my blood, and I barely felt it. Then Dr. I. said they were going to need to give me an IV for antibiotics because it turns out I tested positive for GBS . At first I said “okay,” but then I said I wasn’t sure if I wanted the antibiotics because I’d done reading on it and there are risks to the antibiotic use, too. Dr. I. said that the antibiotic they use is mild and that it would be to protect the baby. I agreed to get it, and now I do think that was the right decision because had I known I was positive beforehand, I would have done natural remedies to make it less likely for the baby to be infected. Dr. I. said that it was good that my water hadn't broken yet, since the membranes being intact for longer reduces the risk of infection, and she said it would be best to (as I'd requested) wait until it broke on its own.

It took at least 4 tries and 3 different people to get an IV in me. Apparently the veins in my hands are deceptive—they look great, but when you try to put the needle in, it doesn’t work. They ended up putting it on my left forearm. Getting stuck multiple times was really uncomfortable and quite frustrating, so I was relieved when they got it in.

After that, the memories are not completely clear. I remember Dr. I. suggested some different positions. I know I stood leaning forward for a few waves. Someone was behind me with their hands on my hips, but I have no idea who it was. I think after that she wanted me to try kneeling, so she adjusted the bed so that I could kneel on the foot of it and rest my head and arms on the middle part. I think that when I went to get into that position is when I vomited all over the floor, but I knew that was a good sign, a sign that I was nearing full dilation, and I also had read that the act of throwing up can help your body open up faster. I remember saying that I felt better after throwing up. I also remember saying I felt shaky, and Dianne said that meant I might be in transition. The kneeling position was comfortable, and I was still very focused and relaxed, using my hypnosis, restarting the “Easy First Stage” track on my ipod whenever it ended. I think Dr. I. checked me in this position and I was 9 cm.

Soon I started to say “Ah” at the peaks of the pressure waves, and Dr. I. asked if I was feeling rectal pressure and I wasn’t yet. Then a few waves later I said I was starting to feel it. Sometime around this time, “Easy First Stage” ended again and I let “Pushing Baby Out” start playing. Dr. I. had me get back in the semi-seated position and checked me again, and she said there was a lip on my cervix and the baby’s head needed to rotate a little more. I continued to “Ah” all through the waves, and that felt good. I think Dr. I. had me get on my side. She told me that if I really felt I needed to push at the peaks of the waves, I could.

After a while, she checked again, and the lip was still there, so she tried having me push while she held back the lip. That was very uncomfortable and it didn’t work. It was during this that my water finally broke. She told me to try not to push for a while. Now that I had pushed, I felt like I needed to keep pushing. From this point on, I was never able to really get back in the peaceful place I had been before. It also didn’t help that I had never actually listened to “Pushing Baby Out” all the way through to make sure it was okay and it turns out the track on my iPod was incomplete, so it would just stop in the middle of something. I felt panicked and very out of control and was not comfortable at all. As the waves would peak, I’d yell “I CAN’T NOT PUSH!” and would try to push only as much as I absolutely had to. Dianne had to tell me to slow down my breathing so I wouldn’t hyperventilate. At one point, Tiatia kissed me (if you’re unfamiliar with why this is helpful, read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin), and that did help me relax some. I was touched that he thought to do that, that he actually had paid attention to some of the stuff I’d shared with him from my reading. I also switched from “Pushing Baby Out” to “Deepening” because I wasn’t supposed to push yet, and then I never went back to “Pushing Baby Out.”

Somehow I got past the really intense part of not being able to push and moved on to the really intense part of trying to push. Dr. I. said I could change positions if I wanted (I was now back to semi-seated), but I didn’t want to move. Dianne pulled some handles up from underneath the bed and told me I could hold on to them while I pushed. I started pushing, but the way I was pushing wasn’t working. Dr. I. noticed I was tightening my pelvic floor, so she and Dianne had to tell me to relax that area and focus on pushing with my abdominal muscles. Dianne got right in my face and Dr. I. told me to look at her. She told me to hold my breath and push. She did count to 10 during some of the pushes, but for most of them she didn’t count and I only pushed as long as I felt I could, and for some of them I did breathe out instead of holding my breath. Dianne also told me not to start pushing when the wave started, but to wait until it built. I was not able to relax the rest of my body while pushing, and as a result, I was very sore the next day. I also burst a blood vessel in my eye.

At some point during the pushing phase, Dr. I. said something about wanting to put in an internal fetal monitor because the external one wasn’t doing a good job of tracking his heart rate. At first I said “okay,” but then my inner advocate kicked in and I said I didn’t want the monitor screwed on my baby’s head. Dr. I. told Dianne to adjust the external monitor and it picked his heart rate up better. I was glad I stood up for my baby.

Once I got pushing figured out, it wasn’t too long before I felt him in the birth canal. The feeling when he crowned was very, very intense. It didn’t feel like burning to me, though, it felt like the perineal massage (a gentle version) I had done a few times, only about 10 times more intense. Looking back on it, the feeling was kind of cool, but at the moment I really wanted it to be over. I wanted to keep pushing, but Dr. I. told me that my perineum would stretch better if I waited for the next pressure wave. His head was out with the next wave and I had to keep pushing his body. I remember Tiatia reminding me to breathe in, because I just wanted to keep pushing.

Our son was born at 1:47 am. I reached down and pulled him up onto my own belly, which is something I had wanted to do ever since I’d seen it on a video. They put a towel on him and I talked to him and rubbed is back. He was a little purple and not crying. The other nurse, whose name I didn’t get, told me she was going to have to take him. Dr. I. clamped the cord and Tiatia cut it. Tiatia later told me that the nurse had suctioned The baby and given him oxygen. He took a video and some pictures. Dr. I. had me push out the placenta. Then, she and Dianne started doing uterine massage, and my uterus wasn’t firming up and I was bleeding too much. The baby wasn’t ready to breastfeed yet, so they put pitocin in my IV. Dr. I asked if I wanted it in a shot instead, but since the IV was already running, I said it was fine to do it that way. A little while later, I was still bleeding more than they like to see, so Dianne gave me a shot of methergine in my thigh.

When the baby was ready, the nurse brought him back to me before dressing him so I could hold him skin-to-skin. He latched right on and has done a great job nursing ever since. After we had some time to nurse and bond, the nurse weighed him and he was 7 lbs 10 oz—7 oz bigger than his sister was. She diapered, dressed, and swaddled him. Dr. I. showed me the placenta, which was really cool. She showed the maternal side and the membranes that held my baby as he grew. This was really interesting to me.

I felt amazing after the birth. The hormone rush was really awesome feeling. I was so proud of myself for doing it unmedicated and for feeling so in control for much of the time. I really believe I couldn’t have done it without Hynobabies. Dr. I. told me that she thought I should get certified to teach the program like I had told her I was considering doing if I found it helpful during my birth. I was up taking a shower soon after. It felt really good to be able to shower. It was a little difficult still having the IV attached because I wasn’t wearing a hospital gown, so I had to leave one strap of my nightgown around the IV line, and when I tried to put the nightgown back on, it got all tangled around the line and Dianne had to help me fix it.

Because of my positive GBS status and only getting one dose of antibiotics (you’re supposed to get 2 doses, 4 hours apart, but I wasn’t at the hospital long enough), they wanted to keep The baby in the hospital for 48 hours to watch him for signs of infection, since about 80 percent of newborn GBS infections show up during that time period. I loved that I didn’t have to switch rooms at all during my hospital stay and that, because the same nurses who help with the births also do postpartum care, on our last night we got to see Dianne again.

Dianne said she had read my birth preferences and I could tell she really made an effort to follow them. She told us that the reason she left us in the ER waiting room so long was because my birth preferences said I didn’t want it loud and she wanted to do all the noisy room set up before they brought me in. She also said how surprised she was when Dr. I. said I was 8 centimeters, because I wasn’t acting like it. We talked about how difficult my pushing phase was, and Dianne said that it looked like I was actually pushing right, and The baby just wasn’t coming down. She said normally women don’t need to push with their abdominal muscles. She said she was actually thinking they were going to need to use the vacuum extractor, but she hadn’t suggested it because she knew I wanted minimal intervention. Tiatia mentioned that he’d actually yelled “relax” at me when I was panicking, and Dianne said that caused me to suddenly focus. I don’t even remember that, but I guess my subconscious recognized the cue, so my hypnosis training did help more than I thought it did during pushing.

Our son is a very cute and so far is a good baby. His birth was an amazing experience that taught me so much about the capabilities of my mind and body.

My Journey to Natural Childbirth

Before I got pregnant with my first baby, what limited knowledge I had about birth led me to two conclusions: 1) birth is painful, but 2) there are drugs for it. I thought everyone got epidurals. I didn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t. I thought “why would you have pain when you don’t have to?” I certainly try to avoid pain whenever possible. I figured that if epidurals were as common as they seemed to be, they must be pretty safe. I thought an epidural would be the only way to make childbirth not be a completely horrible experience. I believed God must have created epidurals so that women wouldn’t have to suffer.

It's hard to say exactly what opened my mind to the idea of natural childbirth. A lot of it came from my experiences posting on online forums. The internet has a way of exposing people to new ideas. I discovered that people still do natural childbirth. I also went to a seminar at Babies 'R' Us by an instructor of the Mongan Method of HypnoBirthing talking about the theories behind hypnosis for childbirth and recruiting for her class. I decided that I could do natural childbirth.

Then I started reading. And reading and reading. One article that was important in my decision process was The Hidden Risks of Epidurals by Sarah J. Buckley. It showed me that epidurals were not as simple as I once thought. Also on my reading list were The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer, Active Birth by Janet Balaskas, and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin.


All of this reading radically changed my point of view about childbirth. My new conclusions were: 1) God created birth as a beautiful and delicate process, 2) people interfering with that process unnecessarily can easily through it off track, leading to complications and a need for more interventions, and 3) women who plan for and accomplish natural childbirth often have wonderful and empowering experiences.