Raise Your Hand if You Have Prenatal Depression

I do. Or I think I did, anyway. I think it is gone now. And now I think I can finally talk about it.

Prenatal depression (also known as antenatal or antepartum depression) is the term for depression that occurs during pregnancy. According to ACOG, it occurs in 14-23% of pregnancies. That is common! Shockingly common, considering how little it is talked about. I think we need to be talking about it! I think a lot of women do what I used to do, and ignore anything we come across about prenatal depression, because we think it could never happen to us. Until it does.

Symptoms of prenatal depression include:

• A sense that nothing feels enjoyable or fun anymore
• Feeling blue, sad, or "empty" for most of the day, every day
• It's harder to concentrate
• Extreme irritability or agitation or excessive crying
• Trouble sleeping or sleeping all the time
• Extreme or never-ending fatigue
• A desire to eat all the time or not wanting to eat at all
• Inappropriate guilt or feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness

(source: babycenter.com)

Guilt was a big part of it for me, as were appetite issues and fatigue, and lack of motivation. I experienced more "irritability" than "excessive crying," though at one point I was crying about once a week. I think that because I felt angry and overwhelmed and not always sad is part of why I wasn't sure I had it at first. It was when I read Sheridan's experience of her postpartum depression that I recognized that feeling irritable could be a symptom of depression. I felt like I wasn't myself, like I wasn't enjoying day-to-day life or motherhood, and a whole lot of guilt because of that.

Prenatal depression wreaked havoc on my marriage. My husband didn't understand why I was so unlike myself, and he took it personally as a rejection. When he feels rejected, he withdraws, which was the last thing I needed at the time. Thankfully, our marriage made it through, and is stronger for it.

If you think you might have prenatal depression, what can you do about it? Here are a few ideas:

• Talk to someone. Someone who understands. I will talk to you if you need me! If you can't get what you need with peer support, seek therapy with a qualified provider. And if your depression causes thoughts of hurting yourself or others, get professional help immediately.
  
• Take a vitamin D supplement. Vitamin D deficiency can cause depression, and the majority of the American population is deficient because of how little time we spend in the sun without sunscreen. My midwives routinely check Vitamin D levels as part of prenatal bloodwork, and mine was 28 (optimal levels are 50-80).
• Take an Omega oils supplement. These fats are good for your developing baby and research suggests they can improve mood.
  
• Eat healthy. I know how hard this is to do when you aren't feeling motivated, but obviously your body needs nutrients to feel well and grow a person at the same time.
• Light or Moderate exercise. Find something you can do to get moving that you don't hate--walking with my kids in the stroller and dancing with my prenatal dance DVD have helped me when I've done them.
• Establish routines. This happened because we started the preschool co-op. It helps tremendously to have a rhythm to the day and the week. I also feel a lot better when I am accomplishing things and when I am in an uplifting (read: organized) environment, but it is hard to clean when you a depressed. Having Hypnobabies classes in my home each week has given me a reason I have to keep my house clean. If cleaning routines are new to you, I recommend FlyLady.
• If you are spiritual, pray or seek other spiritual help.
  
• Recognize that it will get better. Feeling this way is a temporary thing. It is not your life from now on. You are not a bad mother and prenatal depression is not your fault.

Support Resources:

• Postpartum Support International also offers support for prenatal depression. Visit their Support Groups & Area Coordinators page to get connected with help in your area.
  
• Prenatal and Postnatal Depression Support Group on Facebook
• Prenatal Depression and Anxiety Support at CafeMom

You are not alone: other women's expereinces:

• Antepartum depression - Birth Faith
• Depression in Pregnancy? - Choose Your Birth
• I Battled Prenatal Depression...For the Whole Nine Months, article at Mail Online
• So why doesn't anyone ever tell you about PREpartum depression? - Home/work
• The Pregnancy Taboo by Jody Santos
• Antepartum Depression: Stopping the Tears - The Deliberate Mom

Pregnancy Update: 29 weeks!

I haven't been keeping you posted on my pregnancy! This pregnancy is going by SO fast! It has been a bit tough for me, emotionally. I have been a bit overwhelmed about the idea of three children so close together (my oldest will turn 4 about 2 months after this baby will be born) and have just felt out-of-balance and at times, overwhelmed. I am feeling better lately, though.

I had a midwife appointment today. I am 29 weeks, 5 days. We did a blood draw for my glucose screening and a CBC, mostly to see how my iron levels are doing. The midwife I saw today said she prefers to do the version of the test that uses a meal, rather than the glucoa drink, so that's what we did. I considered choosing not to do the test at all because I have easily passed the screen with my other two pregnancies, I am not overweight, never gain excessive weight in pregnancy (I'm only up about 17 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight so far), my babies have been average-sized (7 lbs 3 oz and 7 lbs 10 oz), etc. But I decided, considering the risks of GD and the fact that I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2007 before we conceived our first, it was better to just do it, and I wanted my iron checked anyway.

My fundal height was 28 cm (It was 20 cm at my 19 w 5 d appointment and 26 cm at my 24 w 5 d appointment). The baby is positioned oblique right now (I had pretty much determined that by where I've been feeling kicks), and that probably has something to do with the slightly lower fundal height measurement. Heart-tones were in the 130s. I have gained one pound per week since my last appointment, so weight gain is going fine. No sugar or protein in my urine. (I love that I get a copy of all of the numbers so I can refer to them later!) .

My midwife recommended a great website, The World's Healthiest Foods. They have a page with a list of nutrients where you can click on each nutrient and it will take you to a list of the foods that are highest in that nutrient. Pretty cool.

Went to the health foods store after my appointment and picked up a liquid whole food vitamin, some probiotic capsules (been having issues with vaginal yeast), almonds (to eat when I have heartburn), and some nettle and red raspberry leaves for my herbal pregnancy tea that I have just started drinking daily.

The fact that this baby is going to be born hardly feels real. I better start adjusting to the idea, because I don't have much time. I am teaching my first Hypnobabies class starting next Tuesday, and am planning on doing all of the homework along with my first student to prepare for my own birth--maybe that will help it feel real for me!

I haven't been taking belly pictures, maybe sometime soon when my husband is home, I'll get him to take one and I can post it!

"Another Bun in the Oven": My Big Announcement!

Yep, I'm pregnant! Baby #3 is due in December.

In March, we felt that the Lord wanted us to open ourselves up to having our next baby, and we decided to stop preventing. On April Fools Day, I took one of the new super-sensitive pregnancy tests that is supposed to be able to detect pregnancy as early as six days before your missed period (that is only 8 days after ovulation!). I figured I was about 10-12 days past ovulation at this point (wasn't keeping very careful track of my fertility signs that cycle, so I only knew a 3 day range of when ovulation probably occurred). At first, I thought the test was negative, but then, it appeared,--a very faint second line! Considering the day it was, I decided not to tell anyone else that day because I didn't want anyone to think it was a joke. I also wanted to confirm with another test and that was my last one (I'd taken some the cycle before because my luteal phase was suddenly not short anymore that cycle), so I bought a digital test that day to take the next morning (which came back as an unmistakeable "pregnant."). I wanted to tell my husband in a fun way, since I had never done anything fun to tell him the two previous times. I looked up some ideas online, and I found one I really liked...

I had mentioned to my husband that I wanted to try to make cinnamon rolls sometime. That weekend was the LDS General Conference, and since we have satellite, we planned to stay in all weekend and watch the conference on TV. My husband grew up in Utah, where conference is broadcast locally, and in his family, the tradition was to cook good food that whole weekend.

I decided it was the perfect time to try to make some cinnamon rolls, and I could use them as a way to tell my husband the big news. I found Alton Brown's cinnamon rolls recipe (I love his show on the Food Network, and although a lot of times his way of cooking is "the long way" it is also usually "the good way"), and I started the dough on Friday afternoon.

On Saturday morning, after the rolls were risen, I put them in to bake during one of the choir's songs. I sat down next to my husband on the couch and announced,

"The buns are in the oven!"

He gave me a questioning look.

I pulled two positive pregnancy tests out of my pocket as I said, "And they're not the only buns in the oven!"

My husband was so excited and thought my way of telling him was very clever. I had fun with it. My husband loved the cinnamon rolls. I don't really like cinnamon rolls that much--the frosting is too sweet for me, but they were good for what they were.

I didn't take a picture, but here is a picture I found that looks a lot like my "buns in the oven" when I put them in:

Image uploaded By Stacy (originally posted to Flickr as om nom nom) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons